Wendell
Untitled
by
Felix Haydn
I wonder if my life is a lie. I want it to be a lie.
Labels would call what I have perfection. Little children dream every day of becoming the celebrity that I am. Both men and women have thrown themselves at me. And I've made millions doing what I love.
Fame. Fortune. Success.
Perfection?
That has to be a lie. There's no such thing as perfection.
So I've had my doubts. And I've learned to make my life a lie.
You are reading the work of someone known as Felix Haydn. Though people have screamed that name at me for years, it is not, and it has never been, my name.
Lie Number One.
I am Wendell Carmen.
When one has an image to protect, they'll fight to protect it from everything. First starting out, I had to protect my work from myself. I do believe I was in denial about it all, really. Nobody in my life had ever said I was anything other than great. My parents doted on my sick little body when I was young, and fellow students always looked to me for all the answers.
Perfection?
Lie Number Two.
I always recognized the fucked up way people saw me. How could I have been perfect? I was sick. I was stupid. And their adoration made me fucking miserable. So I had to change things.
I created Felix Haydn at the start of my high school career. And he evolved. Felix was the perfection everybody wanted to see.
I just wanted to see myself.
I wanted to see Wendell.
And thanks to her, I finally did.
Perfection?
Lie Number Three.
So if I'm such a liar, how can you count on anything I say being the truth?
But believe me. If you never trust me again, believe me when I say this.
This is all true.
This has all happened.
I am Wendell Carmen. And I killed Jezebel Gibson.













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